Its been a tough week. Sir has been working amazingly hard hours in this heat, school is plugging along, I have been looking at transfer schools already, and now Sir and I are helping our friends D and his wife M open up a new dog grooming business. It is almost 12am and I am beat, Sir is still there laying tile for them.

I have some thoughts about surrender, living this life with Sir/hubby 24/7, and also finding my proper "place" with him. I have been talking with some new fabulous friends about it all, and finding couples that also do this after being married for so many years before embarking on this journey together. It has helped tons, but we still have a ways to go.

Sir wants me to journal here everyday, to speak freely to him as to what I am thinking and feeling about us and where I am at...and that makes me happy. Today we were getting ready to go to D and M's new shop and I was STRESSED to the point of hair pulling out. He looked at me and said "what do you need and speak freely" and I replied "I need to be grabbed by the throat, thrown down, choked and beaten. I need to be slapped silly and then fucked senseless by you. I am having a hard time finding my head space today" He looked at me and turned me towards the bathroom wall, bent me over in half and pressed my nose against the tile wall. "Stay there" was all he said and he left. It was maybe only 5 minutes total that I was there, but that was a long 5 minutes. That was the most calming 5 minutes I have had all week. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and when he came in to tell me to stand up, as he hugged me all I could whisper was "Thank you Sir for giving me what I need"

To Sir, thank you. For going on this walk through life with me everyday. For asking me what I think I need, but for actually giving me what you SEE I need. I know in my heart that when we finally have the opportunity to scene that it will be one of the most amazing scenes of my life, and you will take exactly what it is you need from me, regardless of what I may think I need in my head. Just when I think you don't "get me" you show me amazingly that you do, more then I could have ever hoped or dreamed.

A old friend of ours said "Of course B is the natural choice for your Dominant and Master. I have always seen him as an angel, just standing guard over you, watching you and keeping you loved and safe." She was right. YOU are the one I was designed for. I am grateful for every step we have taken to get to this point with each other. There is no place I would rather be, then to be at the feet of my beloved husband.

To quote my favorite movie "There is no place like home"