Im Back!!!!!

Well geez, I did not realize how much time has gone by since I have been here. WOW School and my ill grandmother have taken up so much of my time. Good news is my school is fantastic this semester. I have A's in each of my classes except for Algebra but I got a B on my last test so WOOHOO. All this hard work is certainly paying off. Everyday AG and I meet before class and have a nice quiet hour or two together to talk about whatever, school, family, kids, partners what have you. It is nice. I also get to see my friend R in my M,W, and F class so that is nice too.

My husband is working hard at the firehouse and we have decided that when I am done in school he is going to enroll to become an EMT/Paramedic. He is doing fabulously and really seems to have found a new calling and I am so proud.

As far as bdsm, well that has been at a stand still. There are so many things in my life that are so important, and I am spreading myself so thin that Sir/husband and I have been moving very very slowly at times but that is ok. That is what I feel I need and he has taken very very good care of me and I him in return. We are debating going to the monthly gathering on Saturday but will probably not make it. Sir has a Fireman's Rally all day down by where we live and they are having games, awards, competitons, etc etc for all the local fire departments. It will be an all day long family fun filled event so it depends on how we feel afterwards.

I am in the middle. I miss it(bdsm) and then I don't. I feel I need it and then I feel I dont anymore. I feel lost but I don't. Strange really...........I promise I will post tomorrow am and clue you in to what has been going on with me personally a little more.....

Hugs........

Still here and yes I have neglected this blog but there are just so many things to write about that I do not know where to start really. Just gathering my thoughts I guess....

Promise more to come...very soon.........maybe tomorrow once I get this essay done for English Comp

metromix.com

Click on St Louis and then on the bottom left is a box that says
"Get Flashed" and a click able link for Nickelback. We are close to the end of the photos I do believe it was mid concert break time.

I am so tired this am, my poor head and body both feel like they are gonna explode. Oh well, time to get ready for school. Talk to you all later

Ok so the pic of me, Sir and AG turned out great....it is posted on both my facebook and myspace. AG took one of Sir and I sitting on the lawn for a few minutes while the two men smoked (I can't stand for too long lately don't know what the deal is there) and he will be sending that one to me later this evening I do believe. Sir and I are trying to talk him into coming to the next Flog with us and oh boy I will just be too happy if that happens.

Last night Sir's pager went off 3 times again. I do not know what is happening down here but when that pager goes off I am up. Can not go back to sleep up, even after he comes home safe. Is this ever gonna get better?

Homework and school are going well. This semester is filled with research papers, Government opinion papers, and if the book store doesn't get my text book in I will scream. Thank Goddess all the teachers are understanding that the book store did not order enough to accomadate all the extra students this term.

Sir and I have been setting some new rules and protocals in place but to be honest with everything going on some days it is hard to just do the little things for him like making sure his drink is filled and cold, making sure he has all he needs and wants while here, rubbing his feet and back nightly, etc. Thankfully Sir is very understanding of both my mental and physical state lately and we have adjusted things to suit all of the happenings in the house. Soccer is starting soon again, and I am thankful that Sir's friend D is going to be assistnat coach this season because I simply can not do it.

My blue hair turned out awesome. You can not see it in the pics because it was taken at dark, but when I am out in the sun or normal light it is very cool. It took me 34 years to do something so bold with my outward appearance and I am so glad I did. I got a few compliments at school today.

Well back to the homework. Sir says he is planning a night out with play away from home here this coming week and I can not wait but hope I am up to his standards......sigh

Hugs and well wishes to you all.....missing some faces...missing some voices....missing normal life in general but what is normal for any of us?

OMG FREAKIN GODDESS

I had the absolute BEST time with Sir and AG last night. We had some pictures taken and I will be posting them on my facebook and myspace here soon.....I have not danced like that in 5 years, screamed like that in a long time, and smiled and laughed so much in one night in a long time. I love being with Sir and AG they just crack me up. AG is the best male friend I have had in years and I love to be silly with them both. The blue streaks in my hair turned out really good, and I think I will keep it this way for awhile.

This week back to school, then next weekend AG and his kids are coming out for a bbq on one of the days I think. It seems that the weeks are just going by so fast. My oldest is starting to get acne and his voice is changing. I am NOT ready for that at all.

Well I have piddled on here enough I must get back to the homework. I also have to drive up to St Louis to see gram today.......sigh.....

I really need to curl up in my cage and sleep for awhile....

All present and accounted for....

So this week at school has been rough to say the least. I am finding myself in bed earlier and earlier this week, trying to help my poor brain heal. I have been able to see AG every morning and I have a class with my friend R so I get to see her 3 times a week as well. I LOVE my English Comp teach, and my Elementary Ed teacher is a hoot (she still talks like we are all 5 year olds)

Today I am off to get my hair dyed with electric blue chunks and streaks in it and I can hardly wait. I had it cut shorter again yesterday and Sir LOVES it.

Nickelback is tonight and I will be sandwiched in between not one but 2 sexy men, insert content sigh here........

Kids are great, soccer team has been calling like crazy before the sign up sheets have to even be turned in...

Last night we had movie and game night with the kids. I am just settling into bed when Sir's emergency pager goes off. I run down the hallway with it, as he is already grabbing his shoes and gear and I hear them say "Residential First Alarm" and my heart stops. I don't want Sir to race into someones home and risk his life, BUT he has always supported me and to be honest I respect and admire him for doing this. Not many people can and he seems to excel at it.

I always thought I would not be one of those wives who sits there, gripping the scanner, listening to every beep, every tone, every report in from the guys.........well....things change I guess. I sat there on the couch, in my jammies, gripping the scanner listening to them call in all the badge numbers, report back and forth to dispatch, talk to each other...as I am also talking to the goddess just asking for Sir to come home. I always am conscious of how much he means to me, every day I tell him so, but WOW that feeling of terror and worry is not cool at all.

After about 45min I hear " Structure secure, all persons accounted for" Thank you goddess.....

He came in dirty, and stinky, covered in grime........I never thought he looked better...

Lil Bit

Second day of classes today. Madness yet again in the parking lots but better then yesterday. Class seats are filling up as quick as possible. Ugh I can not stand being shoved in with so many people but after the first 2 weeks it will thin out it always does. My Algebra homework went surprisingly well last night so we will give this teacher the full 2 weeks before I see whether I drop or not. AG and I had a long talk about it before class today and I was basically told yet again that I am not a quitter and need to remember that.

Through the years I have had tons of new "slave names" from Doms I have served and /or played with. It seems once they get to know me they pick me a new name. Sometimes it is something simple like "China doll" because my hair is so black and my skin so pale and creamy. I was told I looked like a china doll. Other times they do not have an explanation and say it just comes to them. (odd that D never gave me a name I guess my real one just suited him)

So last night Sir and I are doing separate things. I am homeworking, he is on the computer. I got up to go outside with him when he went to smoke and I went to give him a hug. "Quick cuddles?" he asked "yes Sir" Now even though Sir is my height I find myself nuzzling my head into the nape of his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. As I lay my head on his shoulder he asked "are you feeling ok lil bit?" It dawned on us both in that moment that in 8 years of marriage not once has he named me in any way shape or form......except for now.

I am His Lil bit..........and I am happy. (massively stressed out due to homework and other issues but happy, in the very core of my being)