Excited....I am also tons of other things but we will leave that for now.......

Sir and I and our 3 little ones will be at the park tomorrow along with AG and his 3 kids, and also D and M and their 3 kids. We will be bbqing and playing in the water all day long...the perfect thing to do before we get ready to go to our local play party that evening. Excited!!!!! I love being in the water all day. I am a water sign and also very much a water witch...it calms me...I love it. Kind of funny that I am drawn to water and Sir is drawn to fire lol. So I have no clue what to wear for the play party either. My body issues this last month have gotten worse and so has my self esteem in general so I am hoping that Sir will just say "wear this" and save me the trouble. I have no desire to really get neekid at all there, but I have no idea what is in store for me if anything at this point. ....sigh..... I do know that I will be slowly working on my fire issues here soon and that possibility excites me and scares me too. I am grateful for the oppourtunity. I do know that when I walk in I want to feel beautiful......sometimes that takes some work...let's just hope I am not all sunburned...

My bird is sitting on me, and it has taken me forever to just to type this post...she loves the keyboard....lol silly bird.

I have some other thoughts, and feelings that are emerging. Sad pretty much today overcomes it all....very very tired. I would be happy to just curl up in a ball and let the tears fall today, wrapped under my covers wishing for big strong arms to hold me......but that is not possible today.....