Hospitals

I have decided I have spent way way too much time in hospitals lately. On Monday my mother called me to inform me that my grandmother was being taken to Des Peres. I get the kids in the car and race to the hospital (Sir had already beat me there and met me outside) Sir takes one look at me and says "you need to get in there now, kids and I will be here" and off I ran. For 3 days and 2 nights I have sat there listening to the bleep of machines, and the raspy breathing of my grandmother. She has COPD and has virtually no oxygen in her lungs at all. She has been on a bipap machine that is helping her breathe and essentially we are just waiting for the end according to her lab results and dr. Today they took her off the machine due to her DNR and living will and we are waiting to see what happens with it all. I have been leaving the hospital at 3am and driving an hour back home to grab a shower, maybe a quick nap and back to the hospital. Sir has been doing double and triple duty with the kids and work and I could not love him more for it.He stays up until I get home to try to talk to me and give me hugs and words of support. My mother is a wreck, I am a wreck and I miss my kids and Sir terribly. I miss the lady my grandmother was to me and for our family for so many years. She was a perfect submissive woman, she could take care of her kids, clean and wash the house sparkly, and make a good hot meal all by 4pm. She squirreled away money and then spent it on my grandfathers first boat for him. This woman taught me strength when I had no more so many times in life. She helped raise me when my mother was to drunk or to busy to do it, and now she is slipping away and I can do nothing but continue to sit there, or wander the hospital halls at odd hours of the night or morning, listening to the bleep of machines and trying to help my mom deal to. I sit here now and wait for Sir to get home so I may travel up there again. I used to wonder how Grandma could sit there at my grandfathers bedside for hours upon hours when he was sick, and now I know. It was pure love for him....like I have for her